The Bearded Doctor

#69. Towards the end of June, I matched with a NJB (Nice Jewish Boy) on JSwipe. He was preparing for the residency stage of his medical career. I could just picture my Jewish mother jumping up and down for joy, screaming “Jewish? Medicine? I’m calling the Rabbi to plan the wedding ceremony!”

Conversation was moving along, so naturally, I suggested we progress things by having a FaceTime date.

We decided to chat last night at 9 p.m. for our first virtual rendez-vous.

Let me tell you – this date was just what I needed to get out of my sloth-y routine. I washed my hair for the first time in G-d knows how long. I threw on a slightly revealing top, applied a few coats of mascara and even spent time putting those cute beach-y waves in my hair … cos you know, first impressions mean everything!

I tested out FaceTime to ensure my camera was at the right angle and poured myself a glass of white zinfandel in my cat shaped wine glass. Let the date begin!

9:05 p.m… I’m blankly staring at the FaceTime app on my laptop, waiting for him to call (he had my #). Nothing. I message him on the app asking if we were still on.

A few minutes later, he texted me:

NJB: “It turns out I have to be in for 6:15 tomorrow morning so I should probably try to get some sleep. Sorry about all this. It’s all new for me.”

Like – WTF! I was pissed off (rightfully so). What was new to him? Beginning his residency? Or venturing into the world of online dating? Anyway, I responded sharing my disappointment and asked if he could chat for 15 minutes.

NJB: “Okay, we can do 15 minutes. I’m just very depressed because they made me shave my full beard off today.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. Maybe I can help cheer you up.”

NJB: “I’ll call in a little bit if that’s okay. I want to show my mom how bad I look first.”

Okay pause… he wants to call his mom first? This guy is 27 y/o. I could tell he wasn’t joking.

Fast forward to 10 p.m. and he finally called me. From the get-go, he appeared tired and frustrated. He gave off a mad scientist vibe with his disheveled hair style, as if he touched one of those static orbs at The Science Centre. He had a thick and scruffy mustache with short curls on either side – that he kept twiddling throughout the call. All I wanted to do was lather it in some Nair cream and watch it all dissolve. Ah – the satisfaction and joy that would bring!

He told me the beard was part of his identity for 6 years, and that he was forced to shave it off in order to properly wear the N95 mask. I tried my best to listen and comfort him through my words.

But despite telling him he looked great without the beard, and trying to help him understand that hair can easily grow back … his mood was not changing – aside from a few smiles I managed to crack out of him. So it seemed pointless to really start getting to know each other.

He felt bad and apologized that I had to see him in that state for the first time and asked if I’d be open to another chat … potentially over the weekend.

So I said to him that we could try again and just call it a do over. I firmly believe in second chances. But three strikes, you’re out!

Dating During a World Pandemic

Who would have ever thought that we’d be living through a time in history where it felt like the entire world was on fire. A world where we’d be fighting over value packs of toilet paper at Costco, not being able to get basic food and disinfecting supplies from the grocery store, and most importantly – being forced to social distance from our loved ones.

The Novel Coronavirus COVID-19 World Pandemic was declared on March 11, 2020. We have been told by our government to practice social distancing, and to stay indoors as much as possible. To keep a hockey stick apart from anyone we walk alongside (that doesn’t live under the same roof), and to wash our hands after touching everything and anything outside our living quarters. Nothing seems quite real at the moment.

Online dating has kept me entertained and distracted from what’s happening in the “outside world”.

#67. We matched on Hinge early March. App messaging led to text messaging which led to meeting up on March 11 for drinks. We decided to meet up at a bar which was hidden away in the basement of a local Mexican restaurant. Mind you, this was before the “lock down” was put in place. Both of us were a bit concerned about meeting IRL – but we went through with it. The drinks put us at ease – and conversation flowed effortlessly. We bonded over the fact that both our moms grew up in South Africa AND had the same occupation. Also, he gained some serious bonus points in my books when he shared a photo of his cat. 😺

That was our one and only “normal” date… pre COVID-19.

Since then, we’ve continued getting to know each other (primarily sending memes and photos  of our dinners to each other), have had 2 “social distancing” date walks around my neighbourhood, and have had a few virtual Netflix dates. Here is the tedious process: I call him through Zoom, we move our faces to the corner of our screens – and then play the Netflix show at the exact same time. It’s been working somewhat successfully so far.

Tiger King has been our go-to series. We just finished up episode 7. Important question y’all: did Carole Baskin actually kill her husband?

He currently has a fever and a bit of a cough – which means there won’t be any social distancing walks with him for at least 14 days. Will continue sending each other memes in the interim.

 

#68. We matched on JSwipe on March 20. Funnily enough I recalled matching with him maybe.. 2 years ago? We had tried meeting up downtown by rallying a few of our friends together but the timing just didn’t work out. Anyway, fast forward to now and we picked things up again. For about a week we texted back and forth. I was attracted to the fact that he was a guitarist (any man who is good with their fingers is an A-OK in this gals book). We’ve also been showing off our cooking skills to each other, alongside swapping your standard funny memes and videos.

 

We had a FaceTime date on April 1. Funnily enough – both of us showed up to the call with a drink in our hands (totally not planned!) I drank about half of mine pre phone call to calm the nerves. Fast forward to yesterday and we went on our first social distancing walk. There was definitely a lot of initial chemistry on both ends.

Along our walk we ran into a squirrel who was standing eerily too close to us. It then proceeded to have a staring contest with me – which lasted a whole 3 minutes. I then took a photo, it got camera shy and ran up the tree. We proceeded to walk away. I then turned around once more and he stared at me again! Bloody squirrel. I know what he was thinking:

We’ve continued to text since our walk yesterday and have talked about maybe having a virtual guitar lesson date sometime this week.

I kind of feel like the virtual bachelorette right now. It’s not easy dating 2 men at once. 🌹

Pros to COVID-19 dating:
– Gives you a chance to build a stronger emotional connection before exploring physical intimacy
– Keeps you looking fresh for those FaceTime dates – we have to all get out of our PJs at some point!
– Gives you insight as to how clean they keep their space
– It gives Netflix and Chill a new meaning – and I’m not opposed to it!

Cons to COVID-19 dating:
– You can’t hug them – UGH, not fair.
– You can’t kiss them – UGH, even worse.
– You can’t engage in any activity except for a leisurely stroll around the block (but really, is that the worst thing in the world?)

What am I missing? Any strategies to spice things up on the next virtual date?

Things aren’t always as they appear

Wondering why suburban girl fell off the face of the planet for the last year? I’ve wondered that question too for awhile. Deep down, I started feeling discouraged. It felt like every time I shared about what I thought was a positive match, it would end up falling apart for some reason or another.

Truth be told – I’ve missed writing, and sharing my journey to find love. So let’s jump back into it (for anyone who is still following along). Or welcome, if you’re coming across my blog for the first time!

**

Aaron and I met Sunday evening at a local restaurant.

I heard my phone chime while parking. It was a text from him. “Just got here. I’m the tall white Jewish boy, good luck finding me. :P”

Walking into the restaurant, I quickly glanced around the room and sure enough saw him sitting at a booth. He didn’t get up to hug me. Instead, he extended his arm for a handshake. I suggested we move outside (as it was beautiful out and there was a spacious patio). He was easy going about it.

His profile didn’t lie – 6’2 and very lanky (my ideal look). When we sat down across from each other – I was quickly mesmerized by his beautiful blueish-green eyes and perfect teeth.

The next two hours were spent chatting about our families, work and musical tastes. Towards the latter end of the date – we started playfully flirting with each other. We joked about the spoons we were using to eat our slices of cake (he was the big spoon and I was the little), and about who would be first to take advantage of the other if we consumed too much of the Bailey’s Irish cream cheesecake.

However, after 3 mosquito bites – I was ready to call it a night. He walked me to my car, we hugged goodnight, and I drove home feeling excited about the potential to see him again.

–> Fast forward 2 days. Still no text from Aaron. At this time I had an awful pit in my stomach that something wasn’t right. And so the self-criticism began: Did I come across as desperate? Was he not attracted to me? Was I too sweet? Am I boring? The thoughts wouldn’t go away. They stung. I spoke to several of my friends who kept telling me – don’t let him get to you. You’re beautiful. It’s his loss.

However, I needed closure – even though I knew that it may hurt more than being ghosted. So I bravely sent him a text Wednesday aft:

“Hey. I enjoyed hanging out with you Sunday eve! Since I haven’t heard from you, wondered if you felt the same?”

Hours went by and no response. What a dick! I thought. He’s such a coward!

I slumped into bed, feeling very down about it. I was about to turn my lights off when I got another chime on my phone around 11. It was Aaron. I took a deep breath and opened the text.

“Hey! Sorry I didn’t text. Been dealing with a lot of work stuff. I was actually going to ask when you wanted to meet for round 2? :)”

**

Moral of the story – never assume it’s you. Also – don’t be afraid to seek clarity if you’re uncertain about something.

Date #2 is locked in for Saturday night!

 

When a “spark” fizzles out

It’s been difficult writing a follow up blog post since my date last September. Truth be told, I thought he was going to be a keeper. For those who have been curious to know what happened…

I went over to his place for what baby face framed as a “celebratory birthday dinner for both of us”. I couldn’t go empty handed, so I wrapped up a bottle of merlot, and the cutest kitchen hand towel that had a pattern of every bagel type imaginable. Re-read my last post if you don’t get the reference.

He greeted me with a warm embrace, and proceeded to give me a tour of his 550 sq.ft bachelor pad. I wasn’t exactly impressed with the fact that he had dirty plates and magazines strewn across his bed and couch (could have used a bit more tidying before I got there), but it wasn’t a deal breaker. He had a huge map over his bed with red pins marking all the places he had traveled to, so I excitedly jumped up on his bed to examine closer and started ooing and aahing over some of them. He came up from behind me, wrapped his arms around my waist, whispered in my ear that there were so many places on the map we could mark off together, and that was enough to make me turn right around, pull him down on the bed, and get this birthday celebration started. One problem: I couldn’t stop thinking about how much my stomach was growling, and really needed to eat something.

Baby face didn’t have a solid dinner game plan, which was surprising since I had thought he would have started cooking a romantic meal for us by the time I got there. All he had purchased was a bag of frozen shrimp – so was planning on frying those up, and tossing together a russian salad. I was frustrated, as my stomach was growling louder and louder — and he had no clue that I wasn’t a shrimp fan, but I wasn’t going to be rude and tell him to come up with an option B. I let him do his thing. As he started to fry up the shrimp, I got some tunes playing in the background and playfully wrapped my arms around him — he was pleased with the distraction. I then assisted to cut up the veggies, while taking breaks to distract him even more.

We were dancing along to the music like a happy little couple, and at that point I felt it was the perfect opportunity to present him with his second gift (the bagel towel). I told him to close his eyes for a second. I grabbed the towel out of the bag, and placed it on the stove handle. He then opened his eyes and started searching, as if it were a game of ‘Where’s Waldo’. He searched for… what felt like 10 minutes, and I was soaking in every second of his cute puppy dog expression, hopelessly trying to find the treasure I placed. I ended up pointing it out, and he was ecstatic. His reaction made up for the meal he was scrambling to put together.

After dinner, we danced our way over to the bedroom (I had about 3 glasses of wine to make up for the lack of food in my system), and the clothes started falling off piece by piece. I was like… okay… I’m ready. I’m a bit tipsy but hang on… he’s completely naked, and he’s basically ready to go all in. I pushed him away for a second and said we needed a condom. “Really? I promise we’ll be safe. I’ve done this lots of times”. There was no way I was letting him do that, when I had no clue how many other girls he had been with. I basically said that it wasn’t going to happen without one. He seemed reluctant, and at that point I really should have just left, but I didn’t want to lose him because of it. Baby face said, “I don’t have any, do you?” I felt like rolling my eyes, as I couldn’t really fathom how a guy wouldn’t have condoms in his own bachelor pad, but I grabbed one from my purse, and thought – okay dude, deal with it.

5 minutes later… 10 minutes later…. we’re lying awkwardly next to each other, neither happy with how that played out. He had gone limp as soon as he put it on. He was probably embarrassed, and I just lay there feeling disappointed for both of us. To make light of what happened, I said “maybe we should have had oysters instead of shrimp”. We laughed and ended off the night cuddled up watching two episodes of The Office. I ubered home, and en route he texted me saying he still had a great time.

I was willing to give it one more shot. We texted back and forth the next 2 days. Day 3 he messages me on Facebook a long winded message, bottom line saying he didn’t feel a “spark” with me, and was looking for marriage in the near future (obviously not seeing it with me). I was angry and upset that he even connected with me after I left, especially if he never felt a spark. It was definitely a cover up for him being unable to perform. So my line back to him: “Yeah, your “spark” clearly fizzled out for obvious reasons. Good luck finding what you’re looking for.” Harsh, I know, but made me feel better. Two minutes later he unfriends me on Facebook.

I couldn’t stop comparing all my new matches to him, and I just wasn’t finding the same type of chemistry. It was making dating for me even more discouraging.

This year I have a lot to look forward to. Between celebrating my friends getting married, moving into my own condo, and traveling to a number of destinations, it will be a non-stop ride. I also look forward to the next dozen dates, and hoping one of them will move into 2019 with me. Looks like you’re all stuck with me as suburban girl looking for love… for now. Happy 2018 everyone.

This might be ‘IT’

Apologies for the months of hiatus…

I’ve been on several cringe worthy dates since returning from South Africa… most of which were too dull to write about. At least until now.

Two weeks ago I matched with accounting boy on JSwipe. His profile description won me over; describing himself as a 6’1 accountant who was fondly proud of his baby face (as I am of mine!) We got right into talking about the benefits of looking younger than our actual age (aside from getting carded everywhere). After a few days, he asked for my number, and it wasn’t long after that we met up for drinks.

As I saw him walking towards me outside the restaurant, I was pleasantly surprised that he looked even cuter than his pictures. Definitely didn’t lie about the height…

We decided to sit on the patio, which had an awesome vibe. Over the course of the next few hours we drank, ate and bonded over the fact that we were born a year less two days apart from one another. Anyone take that as a sign? He also visited South Africa and went to the same cities I went to, so it was interesting to compare our experiences. Bees were buzzing around us left, right and center. He found it very amusing to see me ducking around every time one came near me, but he kept me calm and distracted… with his dashingly cute dimples, and as I’d like to call ‘hypnotizing brown eyes’. When the bill arrived, he paid for my food and drink without hesitation, even though I offered. We proceeded to walk into the subway together. As my train was arriving, he said something along the lines of “this was fun” and then kissed me on the cheek. Such a gentleman, right?

I took him paying and kissing me on the cheek as signs he was interested, but eager to play the game, I wasn’t going to be the first to reach out. I needed to see if he was actually interested. Sure enough, the next day he wrote saying he had a good time, and asked if I’d like to go out again. For the first time in awhile, I was feeling optimistic about someone asking me on a second date. It’s usually been one sided, and so to have mutual feelings with someone was a GREAT feeling.

That was last Friday. It was a busy work week for both of us, so couldn’t hang out again until… last night.

We decided to go see Stephen King’s new movie called IT. I was beyond terrified that I would have clown nightmares for the rest of my life, but I was looking forward to grabbing his hand during the scary scenes. Apparently he was just as fearful as me, but said he was “willing to give it a shot” (aka wanting to grab my hand as well).

We first did a candy run at a grocery store — cos as we all know.. theaters rip us off! I thought it was cute that he was somewhat fearful of taking the outside candy into the movie theater, even though I reassured him that everything would be okay.

When we got to the theater, as predicted, no one bothered checking my bag to find the candy. He led us right up to the very back row. We got cozy in our seats, and eagerly ripped open both bags of mini eggs and sour keys. As the movie started rolling, I shifted my legs towards his, and consciously placed my right hand on my right leg. I figured when a scary scene popped up – he would reach for my hand. About 10 minutes in, the evil clown bit off a child’s arm, and without thinking I grabbed his arm and put my head on his shoulder for comfort. He jokingly covered my eyes with his right hand.

We broke the touch barrier! Oh, and I definitely wasn’t disappointed with his upper arm muscle. About half an hour in, we both jumped in our seats, and proceeded to laugh and stare into each others eyes. Next thing I knew, he leaned in and kissed me. I’m usually not the PDA type, but I was surprisingly into it. For the remainder of the movie we held hands, and had short make out sessions in between every few scenes. I felt on cloud nine.

At the end of the movie, he suggested we go to a Korean restaurant nearby to get drinks. Conversation was effortless. I said to him that it felt like we’d known each other for much longer than 5 hours. He laughed, agreed, and said it was a good thing.

En route back to the subway, we walked by a fountain and he asked if I wanted to sit down on the ledge for a bit. I knew what that was code for. So sitting, turned into making out, which went on for about ten minutes. He told me I was a good kisser (I mean… I better be after having gone on so many dates!) Next thing I knew his hands moved down and squeezed my bum. He told me I had a great ass. I replied, “well that’s where all the bagels go, so I guess I shouldn’t stop eating them”. We burst into laughter. Neither of us wanted to leave, but it was already 11:30pm and we both had work the next day.

In the subway, we kissed for a bit longer until my train arrived. We promised to swap a few of our fave songs with one another, so I will end this post with one of the songs he sent me today. It’s incredibly catchy… and I can’t help but think the lyrics speak to his actual feelings.

We will both be celebrating our birthday this week, and have already planned to go out and celebrate. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

A million miles away P.2

Continuation of ‘A million miles away‘…

Me: Safe travels! Let me know when you’re here.

SA Boy: You know it.

Picture he attached upon arrival at airport

SA boy was here, in Canada! It didn’t seem real. We had been messaging and calling one another over Whatsapp since the beginning of February. The thought of finally getting to meet him face to face was incredibly exciting.

He wrote early the next day, saying he was pretty busy with family activities during the day – but could hang out later in the evening for dinner, with the potential of joining him and his cousins afterwards at a bar.

We decided to meet up at 8pm for a late dinner. I was disappointed to learn that he was just going to be having a guys night out with his cousins. That meant we would only have 2 hours together before he had to meet them, but that wasn’t going to put a damper on my evening.

I arrived at the restaurant right at 8, and ran straight to the washroom to freshen up. I awkwardly sat on the toilet for about 5 minutes, eagerly waiting for him to say “I’m here”. However, SA boy didn’t appear to be receiving my messages, and I was developing a pit in my stomach.. thinking that he wasn’t going to show up. Around 10 after I walked out of the washroom back towards the front entrance. As I’m walking, someone stands up from their table and taps my shoulder. Startled, I look over and it was him!

He grinned and showcased the most beautiful dimples I’ve ever seen. He bent his 6’4 stature over to hug me hello. I must have been blushing like a little school girl. Then he started talking…. and my whole body melted. It was one thing to hear his sexy South African accent over the phone, but to have the whole package *ha ha* in front of me, I just couldn’t take it.

Our time together whizzed by. We ordered some drinks and both got the same pasta dish. We were joking around about South African vs. Canadian lingo. Like did you know that in SA, they call street lights robots? Also, trunks here are called boots there! Before I knew it his cousins were writing, asking where he was.

He was quite the gentleman and pulled out his wallet to pay, but I insisted it was on me since he was a guest in my country. He then walked me to the subway. It was so cute… his teeth were chattering the entire walk over (they don’t get snow in SA, and the coldest it ever gets is about 5 degrees). I looped my arm through his, joking around saying I’d keep him warm. He clearly took that as an opening to place his arm around me and pull us closer together.

When we got to the subway, he ordered an Uber and we talked about potentially meeting up once more the next day before I left to go out of town. I looked up at him, our eyes locked, and like out of a fairy tale, we kissed. I completely blocked out the people walking around us – and soaked in those next 2 minutes before he had to go. He was an amazing kisser. ;)

We tried to meet up again the next day, but sadly the timing didn’t work. We agreed that when I go visit there, we would have more time to spend together.

I’m trying to stay realistic. He lives half way around the world. July is also a fair time away. I’ll keep my search going in the mean time, but rest assured there will most certainly be a part 3 to this story. Potentially part 4, if this fairy tale has more chapters.

A million miles away

Well it’s already two months into the new year, and I’ve only had one or two potential matches. None of which were exciting enough to report. Until now…

This year marks my mothers 40th year since she immigrated to Toronto from South Africa, so we felt it was the right time for us to go visit as a family and explore the part of the country she grew up in. So in a few months, we will be flying almost half way around the world (a total of 21 hours to be exact)… for what I’m sure will be quite an emotional and exhilarating trip.

As we started looking into our trip a month ago, I had a crazy idea: why not see what the guys are like in South Africa? So I hopped onto JSwipe, changed my location setting, and low and behold was presented with a few dozen new profiles of Jewish South African hunks. I knew my chances were slim of getting matched with any of them as they could see I lived so far away — but still swiped right on a few profiles.

The next day, I got a match! SA boy looked absolutely dreamy in his photos — beautiful dimples and the most perfect smile. You know you’ve matched with a guy from Africa when he has profile pictures with parrots on his shoulders and elephant trunks wrapped around his body.

SG (Suburban Girl): “Want to be my tour guide when I come visit?”

SA Boy: “Sure! Gladly.”

SG: What do you for fun in SA?

SA Boy: “You mean when not racing cheetahs? ;P There’s plenty to do, but like anywhere in the world we spend way too much time watching series.”

We started bonding over several TV show series, and he told me about all the romantic things we could do in SA when I came to visit — like going surfing and watching the sunset on the beach. I was already swooning. Fast forward a few messages later…

SA Boy: “Ironically, you might be the one being the tour guide first! I’m actually going to be in your city for a wedding in March.”

I couldn’t believe it. Of all the men I could have matched with in South Africa… he was already planning to come visit here for the first time — for his cousins wedding! I leaped in excitement.

Despite the 7 hour time difference, we’ve been managing to write lengthy messages back and forth to one another. The more I’m discovering about him, the more excited I am about meeting him in person. The countdown is officially on until we meet for the first time. Of course the reality is that he does live so far away, and it’s truly a fairy tale to think that it could end up working out and one of us moves to live with the other person. However, I am truly a romantic at heart, and you never know where life will lead you next.

What are your thoughts? Would fellow romantics route for this to go somewhere?

Hold tight for part 2 of this story.

Prosecco and a Onesie. Hello 2017!

Well 2016, it’s time to say farewell. Overall, you’ve been great (aside from not giving me my prince charming).

I went on my first solo trip to Israel, was a bridesmaid in two of my close friends weddings, purchased my first condo, and have held a full-time position at an amazing company. Definitely a lot of memories and milestones to be proud of!

Knowing that my mom got married at 25, and as I start watching my friends getting engaged and married off, does make me feel a bit pressured to do the same. I’ve learned this past year more about the type of man I need in my life; one that won’t play games, is ambitious, mature and close with his family. That’s not so much to ask for, right?

In case you were wondering, the last guy I wrote about ending up being commitment phobic and decided he wasn’t ready for a relationship after our 4th date. I was crushed, but eventually came to terms with the fact that I deserve better.

So tonight, I will be having a low-key New Years in my comfiest onesie, and drink one to many glasses of prosecco alongside the people that are most important to me. I will not wallow in sadness for still being single. I am optimistic that 2017 will come with new adventures and experiences that will hopefully lead to love. In fact – I already have a date lined up for Monday.

6357234381634454491535979042_tumblr-nn7c67xupf1qaryr9o1-500

HAPPY NEW YEARS TO ALL MY BLOG FOLLOWERS. Thanks for following along my adventures this year, and hope you’ll continue to do so in 2017. Have an incredible evening, and make sure to get your kiss in when the clock strikes midnight. ;)

What A … Delicious Bagel ;)

Two weeks ago I got a new match on Bumble. He looked very familiar… and I was almost sure that we had both gone to the same party on Christmas Eve last year (click here for a reminder). I recalled he was very tall and handsome, and I hoped he would approach me to dance, but instead I mainly had drunk, immature boys making moves on me.

Even if I hadn’t seen him last year around this time, I would have still been interested in meeting him since his looks (especially his height) were appealing to me. So what started out as a casual Friday night chat over the app, extended into a week long conversation in getting to know one another. I was thrilled to learn that he was working part-time at my favourite bagel place and that we shared a passion for bagels of all sorts. We continued to learn about so many things we had in common including the same taste in music, family values and work ethic. I was interested to learn that he was studying to be a tradesman in a very practical field and one in which he most definitely would have to be good with his hands…

What I found most refreshing during our conversations was that he almost always began with asking me how my day was or following up to ask about something we had discussed the day before. By mid week, we decided to meet up on the weekend.

Although he offered to pick me up, I declined – saying that I’d meet him at a restaurant for dessert and coffee. I arrived right at 8 o clock to see him already sitting in a booth. He stood up, revealing his sexy 6’3 stature, and gave me a warm hug hello. He remembered having seen me before too, and it didn’t take long to confirm that it was in fact at that party almost a year ago. Fate? Conversation flowed so easily and he was making me laugh – telling me funny stories about his family and imitating them with an accent. We shared 2 slices of cake which were delicious.

After about two hours, not wanting to end our evening, I offered for him to follow me to my house so we could watch a show I had taped that happened to be one of our favourites. My sister wasn’t too happy that we had walked in on her wearing PJs and baking cookies. However, he won her over by eating some of her freshly baked creations and bonding over a conversation about Breaking Bad.

I got us some popcorn and we got cozy on the couch. We were holding each others hands and my legs were casually draped over his. As we got closer to one another, I noticed he still had a bit of chocolate stuck to the corner of his mouth. I took my finger and made a move to wipe it off. However, after doing so he moved in for the first kiss… and it was definitely one I will remember. I hadn’t felt this way for a long time. It honestly felt like I had known him forever, and I think he felt the same way. Before we knew it, it was 1AM, Monday morning, and we both had to be up for work in 6 hours. So we kissed goodnight and he said that we would speak soon.

Never quite relying on those famous last words, I wasn’t 100% sure about how soon he would be back in touch… if at all. So I was pleasantly surprised when he texted me on my way to work at 8:30AM to ask if I had gotten up in time (with a wink face). By the end of Monday, he already asked if we could see each other the following night. I already had plans to meet a friend for dinner, but even if not, I figured it was better to play a little bit cool and so suggested that we instead meet up on Friday (tomorrow).

Since Monday, we have again been texting back and forth non-stop and I’m trying not to get my hopes up too high, but I’m already feeling like he could be boyfriend material. Will keep you posted on bagel boy.

Speed Dating Adventures: Round 1

Speed dating originated in 1998, and was set up by an American rabbi, as a way for young, single Jewish people to meet one another. Back in the nineties, speed dating events attracted large diverse crowds. But as the years have gone on, the popularity of speed dating has dwindled potentially as a result of people primarily finding their partners through apps.

Although it’s not as common anymore (at least for my age group) – the thought of having up to 15 mini-dates seemed very exciting. I mean, who wouldn’t want to experience being ‘The Bachelor’ or ‘The Bachelorette’ at least once?

My silent prayer was answered when my sweet Jewish mother purchased me 2 speed dating Groupons through 25dates.com as part of my birthday gift. I mean… do you think she was sending me a subtle hint?

So I went online to sign my friend and I up. Neither of us had any expectations – other than to at the very least to have a good laugh. We did agree to go in with an open mind, and try to take the whole experience seriously.

The event took place at a vodka bar & lounge. The ambiance was very nice and relaxing. We signed in, were each given a name tag with a specific number and a score card sheet. The first half an hour or so was just waiting around for the other 10-15 guys and girls to get there… we were one of the first few. It was painfully awkward waiting around to start, so I went up to the bar to get a drink, and as I returned back to the couch — I noticed a cute guy sitting there. We smiled at each other.

Him: “Hi – you look very familiar.”

Me: “Actually.. you as well.”

Him: “Have we been talking on JSwipe?”

I was so shocked… I knew I recognized him from somewhere. We had matched several times on more than one app and for some reason or another our conversation never led to meeting up. Anyway it was almost meant to be I thought, that both of us had signed up for this event!

Another guy had started talking to my friend – so I wasted no time getting to know JSwipe guy even more – and we pretty much had a 15 minute head start on our 5 minute speed date. He seemed quite normal and mature, and we had a bit in common. He said to me I looked a lot better in person than on the app… which I thought to take as a compliment, but also just goes to show that sometimes the pictures you post don’t always do you complete justice.

We pretty much told each other we were marking a ‘yes’ next to both of our names. It was a great start to the evening! Unfortunately, it only went downhill after that…

Kevin the line cook was one of my favourites – for all the wrong reasons. Mainly for entertainment. He jumped right into telling me that he was ‘a masochist who enjoyed getting hurt’… pointing out all the burn marks and scars down his arm. It only got better from there. When I asked him to tell me something random about himself, he said that he considered cherries to be very unsexy.

favim-com-awesome-cheery-cherries-delicioud-592855

When I asked why – he told me because he didn’t like the shape (red flag #1… thought to myself: So do you prefer the shape of a banana?) and he said also because they lower your sex drive. Who knew about that one? Anyway, with no hesitancy, I marked down ‘no’.

On the topic of food – Kevin the software manager asked me what I thought about Pineapples. Because of course, that’s something I think about on a regular, day-to-day basis.

Me: “They’re pretty sweet. What do you think?”

Kevin: “Delicious. They’re actually known to make everything taste so much better.” Throws in a wink at the end.

Grabbed my score card and marked ‘no’.

Aside from those, most of the conversations I had were pretty dry and I didn’t feel any chemistry, so by the end of the night – there was only one box marked ‘yes’ for the JSwipe guy. I hate to say, but most were quite socially awkward (which is not a bad thing) but they had absolutely no clue how to talk to woman.

Fast forward to 11PM. I’m about to go to sleep and I get a new Bumble alert on my phone. Oh my god… I still had JSwipe guy listed as a match. So for the next hour we continued writing back and forth. So much for waiting two days (at which time I would get an alert from 25dates) to find out if he was interested. Conversation was mostly great, but he was being overly flirty. To the point of saying things like I’m a naughty girl for following him to a speed dating event, and that he noticed I have a really nice bum. I was surprised he was talking this way after our great conversation that night.

I responded asking if he was examining me when I was at the bar. He replied…

“Admittedly I was. A good doctor always has to examine his patients.” (No, he’s not a doctor).

I responded jokingly asking if he had a PhD. He replied…

“Yeah, I guess I’ll have to be more thorough next time”.

Anyway — he wants to see me tomorrow evening (3 days after the event). He suggested a movie and wine night at his place, which I think everyone knows what that implies. I wrote saying I would be open to going to see a movie in a theatre and maybe grabbing a drink after. He liked that idea, but after having spoken with my friends about it… I’m feeling like he may just be a playboy looking for a good time. Thinking I may need to be honest about what I’m looking for before meeting up. Thoughts?

More adventures coming your way soon.

P.S. According to Toronto.com’s ‘100 Places to Pickup in Toronto‘ article – speed dating is pretty high up on the list of new ways to meet and mingle with other young professionals. I plan on checking out several of the other venues on this list over the next year, and will try to shift more away from all the online apps. Take a look, you may be inspired.