To my 449 followers,
I apologize for ghosting all of you since July of 2020. After my experience with the bearded doctor over video chat, I was feeling pretty down in the dumps and the thought of finding love during a worldwide pandemic seemed unlikely.
I took some time for myself to focus on work and my passion projects. I went on more video chats and walks here and there, but didn’t feel any serious connection. As a previous bachelorette in paradise contestant said and I quote, “if they don’t make your vagina dance, it’s not worth it”. So I took a much needed mental health break.
I enjoyed a week in Dominican with my family this past January. It’s amazing what sunshine and dipping your toes in the water can do to lift your spirits and hit the internal reset button.
When I got home, I re-downloaded a few Apps. It was on Hinge that I matched with J.
J looked familiar but I couldn’t quite pin down how I knew him. We are both Jewish, so it could have very well been that we saw each other at an event or went to camp together (despite him being a few years younger). I did some internet stalking and found his last name, and immediately connected the dots! It turned out that both of his younger siblings are friends with my sister. In fact, his brother’s girlfriend is best friends with my sister. Like….. what are the freaking chances!
Anyway, I played it cool and pretended like I knew nothing at first. I sneakily brought it up on our initial video date by asking where his siblings went to University, and then put on a great act (if I do say so myself), as if only realizing then and there that our siblings were pals from school. When I told my sister, she was ecstatic, especially since her boyfriend is also best friends with his brother. I didn’t want to get overly excited… but it was very cool knowing how our worlds were already so tied together.
J and I had our first in-person date on a heated patio, because indoor dining was not yet allowed. It was a frigid -5 degrees celcius outside, and not surprisingly, we were the ONLY ones there. We were given the VIP treatment with blankets to drape around us, and extra heaters to keep us warm. The service was top notch. We joked around about having our own private chef for the night and having an incredibly attentive waitress who checked in on us every 10 minutes or so. Were we crazy to eat outside while it was still Winter? Probably. Did it make for a memorable first date? 100%.
For our second date we went to see the latest Spider Man movie (since we are both Marvel geeks). It was in the theatre where we held hands for the first time, and twiddled our thumbs together. Was my vagina dancing? Yes! Finally….
Every date with J since then has felt effortless. In my 30 years of life thus far, I have yet to meet a man as chivalrous, thoughtful and sweet as he is.
Since the emotionally abusive relationship with my ex back in 2015, I haven’t felt worthy of being loved or good enough to be in a healthy, committed relationship. Over the years of writing this blog, I’ve gravitated towards men who are either emotionally unavailable or aren’t looking for anything serious. Because I realize now that deep down, I didn’t feel that I was ready to be in a serious, committed relationship. After months of therapy, and self-healing, I have realized that commitment isn’t something I should be afraid of. And if any of my readers can take away anything from what I’ve learned, it’s to not overthink but to rather lean in emotionally and let your heart lead the way.
This past weekend, we met each other’s families at our Passover seders, and they both went better than either of us could have hoped for. After 3 months and about a dozen dates later, it’s safe to say that we are officially in a relationship now.
Writing this post makes me emotional, because all of you have been instrumental in keeping my spirits up and helping me continue to persevere for an entire decade of online dating. Reading your stories in turn have never made me feel alone, and I will be routing for all of you that are still on your journey’s to find love.
I don’t know whether I’ll be back on here or not. But for right now, midtown girl can say she’s found love, and is signing off for now … or forever!?